Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
