oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
