I bet he comes in French.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The air taste purple.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
