speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
