My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
