Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just high enough for therapy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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