We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
