Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
