i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
