im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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