God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So vagazzling was a success
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize