i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
