Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
