i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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