It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I understand Curling. That high.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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