If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
