Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
