I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
