theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
