ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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