she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
