I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
