some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize