his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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