Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
