Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize