People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
