drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
