we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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