Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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