The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
