I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
