we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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