Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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