i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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