did you get engaged???
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
