Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He? As in you personified your dick?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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