Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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