dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
