She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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