Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have demons in me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
