First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
