I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You pole danced in your parka.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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