Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
