I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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