Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this beer tastes like vomit already
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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