Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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