He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
