yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
