you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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