This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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