No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You pole danced in your parka.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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