i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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