Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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