i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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