hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
