escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
