another moral hangover. fuck.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
