does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
