Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
