Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I sprained my soul last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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