small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Less talking, more tequila
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
