Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
