id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
