yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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