she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
