She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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