Having a random hookup so left but love u
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
